God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
