This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
