the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
