I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
