At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
