When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
