It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
