Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
