Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
What drink are we having for lunch?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
