I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize