I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
