Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
