But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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