I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
