You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
