He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
