So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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