If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
