At least make sure they are 18
Why
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
