Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
