no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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