did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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