but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
This is classic penis vs brain.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize