Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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