lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
