C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
