Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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