no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
