Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
