I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
