I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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