Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize