After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Farmville is her only friend.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
