So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
