no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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