you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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