i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
