bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
this hospital has no fireball
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize