I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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