About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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