sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
