I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
