he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
