oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
