i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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