last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
