I wanna bring you to show and tell
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
