my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
