my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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