We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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