i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
