What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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