Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
