how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize