I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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