I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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