i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize