HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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