My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
