my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
