Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
