now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
no you cant smoke seaweed
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
