Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
