i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
