I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
