Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
