The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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